Quoth YouTube:

My three year old daughter and I play a lot of old games together. Her favorite is Donkey Kong. Two days ago, she asked me if she could play as the girl and save Mario. She’s played as Princess Toadstool in Super Mario Bros. 2 and naturally just assumed she could do the same in Donkey Kong. I told her we couldn’t in that particular Mario game, she seemed really bummed out by that. So what else am I supposed to do? Now I’m up at midnight hacking the ROM, replacing Mario with Pauline. I’m using the 2010 NES Donkey Kong ROM. I’ve redrawn Mario’s frames and I swapped the palettes in the ROM. I replaced the M at the top with a P for Pauline. Thanks to Kevin Wilson for giving me the lead on the tools and advice.

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No explanation needed. Check it.

IntoDarkness

After all the depressing trailers and TV spots lately of Benedict Cumberbatch blowing things up, Kirk and company being mercilessly scolded and reprimanded and everyone’s loved ones screaming and dying, it seems Abrams and company have decided to drag us out of our depression hole by busting out some of the witty Enterprise crew banter that we all know and love.

Trek it out:

Jesus Christ is my nigga.

February 26, 2013

They Were Wrong

February 21, 2013

This one goes out to everyone who had trouble fitting in at school (I know I went through some of that). A very cool collaboration of artistic media (she says, trying to sound like she knows wtf she’s talking about).
/wipes away a tear. Well if THAT wasn’t inspirational, then I’m not sure what is. :<

Mah Socks!

February 21, 2013

What’s more dorable than kittens, wobbly than dubstep, and more annoying than losing a sock in the dryer? This video!

Sure, it looks like it tries to feebly glean lame jokes and memes from the internet. The very premise behind its title crawls on the back of Snakes On A Plane. Sure, some of the effects are cheesy, and the acting is bad, and the jokes are bad.

But you know what?

This STILL looks fucking awesome. This is the Dragon Wars of Giant Spider movies. Check it.

Why yes, that is a big ass spider.

lords-of-salem

Lords of Salem, the new supernatural horror flick by world reknowned rock musician/corpse, Rob Zombie, has us all here at Doom Fort MOST intrigued.

The story revolves around something like a DJ playing devil music backwards and calling forth devils or something, something devil. I dunno, but with the slow grindhouse visuals, slow-grind rock music, and slowly grinding Sheri Moon Zombie (hubba hubba), I’m more than excited to check this one out.

Finally, after it was supposed to be released, then delayed, then forgotten to all but legend, it’s finally here! The big, badass, Warhammer 40K Ultramarines movie, complete with a fresh trailer and a new release date – sawing through shelves on March 5th. That’s right, this year. Motherfuckers!

Check it, in the name of the Emperor!